By far, this has been one of the weirdest two weeks of my life. Some people could say it's been a "bad" two weeks but I honestly don't let one bad thing ruin the rest of my day. But holy moly, I've been asking myself "what is happening?" for almost three weeks:
We started the year out sick. Really sick. And then we celebrated a baby shower. Days later, we learned of the loss of a life. Days after that, news came of the arrival of a friend's new baby. Within these two weeks-ish, I've also booked 3 weddings, made plans for three out-of-state trips, one of which will last two weeks road-tripping by myself with a one year old across the country (not crazy at all, right?), and have been patiently waiting on news that could impact our lives greatly (and we're still waiting to hear yes or no on). I truly believe God gives you what you need at that exact moment and everything happens for a reason. So maybe what I'm about to write will bring a smile to your face and that was why it happened. Or maybe it's to show me to not take life so seriously. Either way, there was one day last week that I need to share:
The night before, my husband tells me, "I think the dryer is broken." In the back of my head I said, "Great. Bad things come in threes. What's next?"
The next day, he starts to take apart the dryer. He discovers the heater coil is broken in half and it was sparking. It must have been doing this for awhile. We're honestly so lucky that the lint sitting next to it never caught on fire. While he did that, I felt an urge to go to Ikea, aka the worst place on Earth. Every single flippin' time I go, I'm reminded of why I hate going and will avoid it at all costs. But then time happens and you forget and BAM!, I find myself back there cringing and cursing at myself. This trip was no different, in fact, it was worse. As I walked in, there was a lady wearing pajamas in front of me and she turned her face slightly - I noticed she was wearing a mask. For a second, I thought, maybe she has a weakened immune system and SHE is the one that can't get sick. And then she started coughing. She looked white. She was clammy. She quite honestly looked like she contracted the zombie virus and was in the process of turning.
I immediately started walking in a different path, getting away from behind her - because you know, pathogens in the air and I don't want to be 'down-stream' from whatever crazy crap she could have. I start looking at the different wine glass options for our newly built bar and I kid you not, there's ANOTHER person with a face mask on. In total, there were five different people (not together, or at least I could tell) that were shopping with face masks - all of which showcasing flu-like symptoms.
My skin WAS CRAWLING. Why did I do this to myself?
So I get through and start to check out. I'm using as much hand sanitizer as I can and trying to not breath as I smile at the lady counting my 13 hangers. I pack all my randomness up in my 99 cent blue ikea bag and start to walk to the elevator. And in walks the zombie lady - WITH NO MASK ON.
I stood in the corner of the elevator and looked at her with stunned eyes. I tried to be a wallflower - I wanted to flatten myself just to get one extra inch of space to stay away from her. I so badly wanted to put my shirt over my face. I wanted to be anywhere but that stupid elevator. WHY did I have to buy the side table and get a cart that couldn't fit on the escalator?!?!
And then it happened. The elevator stopped. The doors didn't open. And the guy in the elevator with us laughed and made a comment about how he hated Ikea and he could barely get all his crap INTO the elevator and now we'll never get out. Zombie lady with NO MASK ON starts to cough. She is hacking up a lung, not wearing a mask and the Z-Virus is being recirculated within this huge metal box we are now stuck in. I wanted to tell the male next to me that this lady is turning and we need to put his ginormous boxes in between us and her.
Ten minutes later, an Ikea co-worker gets the door open and we go about our way. I get into the car and text my husband that I just got done, what just happened and that I might die.
There were several stops on the way home, all of which were weird. World Market's gift card buy for $25 turned into being charged $250 because the lady didn't know how to work the computer, resulting in them closing my line, sending guests to a different checkout and eventually calling the manager because she didn't understand I wasn't ok with $250. I then walked around the car parts place like a chicken with it's head cut off trying to find a window repair kit for the new little cracks because that morning's drive resulted in my windshield being smoked by several huge rocks that flew out of the sky.
I pull into my garage, walk in and immediately put my clothes into the washer, just in case the Z-Virus attached itself to my jacket or jeans. I go give my son and husband a kiss and exhale. They are my rocks.
I start to play with my son and he starts to grab my baby hair horns that are sticking up from my forehead. I then realize how weird everything has been and that I should have just stayed home because I am literally having a BAD HAIR DAY. I knew the hairs looked ridiculous. I did. I even snapped it on snapchat:
I made fun of myself. I laughed. But I didn't think it was that noticeable until my 9 month old son grabbed them my the reigns and started tugging at them like I was a horse needing to giddy-up.
This is just a small example of what these two weeks have been like. I would like to say that weird things generally happen to me more than other people and I typically brush it off, laugh and think "not the end of the world." And I have laughed, cried and have been reminded of how lucky, blessed and grateful I am for my life and family since 2017 has started.
But not this.
I now have to wear headbands.